Not crazy just a different way of looking at the world

What a tiring week!! I am more than ready now for this baby to make an appearance!!
I haven't done too much on the creative side recently, a little tweak here and there but nothing to shout about really, i'm in the middle of making a second set of mitts, just experimenting with different yarn types and stitches. They are just about done but need some finishing touches to make them extra special :-P
I was thinking of making a ring out of my old jewellery making kit I found, it's only wire, elastic, beads and stones but I reckon I could knock something pretty simple up. If it turns out ok then I reckon I may do a tutorial so you can do your own! There's nothing like having something you know no one else is going to have, yays!!

Seeing as I haven't got anything to show you I'm going to go into something a little more serious, not too deep at the moment but I thought this may be a good oppurtunity to bring it up. 

Within the past three years I have been diagnosed with several mental illnesses, im trying to say it in a way where I don't seem like an 'accumulator' of 'conditions' , there are people who say they have things, I suppose like hypochondriacs or something, and think it makes them 'cool' or 'special'. I suppose conditions just mutate, worsen or feed another in some cases and in general can make you quite vunerable in some ways but pretty damn strong in others.

It's something I am quite open about and I won't make a big deal out of it, but they really do affect me, my family life, my working life, well everything actually. I try and research my disorders (one way to put it I guess) as much as I can so I can try to understand the way I am and I like to read up on other peoples experiences to see how they cope, and it's strangley comforting knowing you are not the only one going through, at times, a hellish experience.

I am bi-polar, have a borderline personality, mild body dysmorphia and something called a highly sensitive threat system. Those in the know will understand the first two can be very similar and also very, very different. They can make my life an absoloute misery and I know it isn't pleasant for the people around me either. I think they can also make me see life at a different angle sometimes, it's so hard to explain, but you just know because you can feel it. I haven't really gotten out of that early teenage stage of my life mentally, so I can be niave, but can be manipulative, impulsive but restrictive in some ways. Dont get me wrong I'm an adult and consider myself a learned person, open minded and have common sense but in someways I can be immature and child-like, different situations evoke severals reactions from me at the same time, and it can be hard to know which ones to go with and which ones to ignore. 

Sound confusing yet!? Well, let me tell you, I am confuddled everysingle day!! My moods change like the wind, not just that but sometimes my interests, my self image, my goals in life, everything. I feel like I will never achieve anything great as my mind can never stick to one thing long enough, and sometimes I hate myself because of it, but at the moment I just want to be happy, sounds stupid, but when your mind can be your worst enemy and the biggest bully eeeeever, a little bit of happiness and inner peace is worth its weight in gold, diamonds and poached pears!! 

I only have 2 weeks left until my psychologist appointments end and I'm a little worried about that but I know now why I do things the way I do and learnt to understand myself a little better, which when it's infront of you on a piece of paper, seems so, well, weird. It also makes you go 'ahhhh' and it's good to know that sometimes things happen to make your mind protect itself and once it's in it's little shell, it's a job and a half getting the blighter out again, but I get my glimmers now and then, my 'normal' moments :) .

I know I am being pretty vague about the whole issue but if I went too deep I would be here a hella laaawwwwng tiem!! But I'm sure i'll touch down on it again in the future. It's great there is a little more awareness going on to make mental illness less of a touch and go subject, though sometimes I do get awkward sitting in a room when someone knows im a sufferer and an advert comes on, but hey, it can only do good right, and if more people get the help they need, then all the better. 

It's been really difficult to get to where I am today, I know being a mum to three, a wife and unemplpyed doesn't sounds much but I am so lucky to have what I have and even though sometimes when I'm having 'bad times' I dont seem like I appreciate the people around me, I really really do. Many people don't find others who are willing to support them in the way my partner does and I have two babies with one on the way, which is a life achievement in itself! So thanks to all those that kept me going and put up with my crap, I know I can be a pain in the arsehole but, well, thanks!!

Here is a sharey video for y'all, oh and if anyone has a youtube account and wants to add me, my name on there is 'switchyboo'

never fails to make me chuckle

take care and live well

Me x

DIY gloves and soap that looks good enough to eat

I have been having some uber rough times the past few weeks but this week especially, my baby belly is giving me mega jipp, urgh. I actually thought I was going to go into labour last night, the pain was pretty gnarly :-/ I have also been tired like on a sloth scale and all I want to do is sleep and with a BP of 100/48 and aneamia then it's expected but still, it sucks a million dicks.

What they look like on :-)

I finished my first pair of fingerless mitts!! They look suuuuu cute on and are surprisingly easy to make, the technique needs perfecting, as with all the stuff I make as I actually want to prehaps make some to sell to make a little money to buy more materials and save for a course in dress-making or a crochet workshop? It's annoying I have a super sewing machine gathering dust when I could be creating some quirky couture :-p, but I just don't have the knowledge really. I will have to start using it again, it's ok to make stuff for me and friends but like I said, I'd like to make something of it oneday....?

The butterflies were sooo hard to do, I almost gave up. 

 Sweet tho!

YAYS!!!

Back to the mitts!! Ooops, I change subject in conversations too just as bluntly, even more so actually, it's a bad habit of mine and yes it's rude but once I have a bunch of stuff to say I have to get it out, or it'll dissappear out of my nose.

Urgh, my heartburn is so rank, I just bent over to check the oven and have that acidic burn in my ears D-':

Another creative thing that's been going on in this house lately is Pauls soap making! YES, Paul, making soap, you read that right. Chyeah I'm bound to be a teensy bit biased but I reckon for his first few attempts his soapies are real sweet and the latest lot look practically like the ones you'd see in those lil shops with the funky incense and thangs in. Ill put some pics up of his latest ones, then some of his earlier attempts and experimenting with shapes n putting things in the soap.

Top - Strawberry with lemon twirl, Bottom - Rhubarb & custard with candy drops

Yellow- Lemon, Purple - Parma Violet YUM, bottom - Rose

So there's a lot you can do! I think the shaped ones and the soap with the jelly babies in and the kitty in are awesome, Meh, I like 'em all!! But fingers crossed it's something else we can make a little money from and if all else fails at least we'll all smell nice!!

I so cannot wait until I have this baby, the discomfort I am in is constant and having one bubby after the other takes it's toll on the ankles, I have the dreaded.... CANKLES!! Yup, and it's a son of a whore I hate them! I can't wear anything other than flats really, major ouchies and my dresses are all too short to go over my bump. My wardrobe is seriously restricted right now. I'm actually looking forward to being able to workout and eat more healthily, I don't want to change my habits to drastically at the moment. I will wear a bikini next year dammit!!! If I can muster up the confidence first aha! Oh I also re-done my hair and the blonde is much blonder and the pink has faded a touch to a nice pastel pink underneath, I would post a pic but I took so many and I didn't look right in any of them, another time mebe!!

A linky you may enjoy playing if you're a movie buff or bored!

Play me!!

Fan of facebook? Star trek or both? It's cleverly done and funneh!!

I'm struggling to sit still and im tired, so goodnight and peace out!

Me x

Look what I made!!

Hey!!   :0)

I'm finding it difficult today for some reason to find a place to start on this entry, humphff/bleurgh/meh.

I have had an evil cold and so has my baby girl so it has been a very tiring week for me and so I have been a bit lax with my blog and the things I have been up too....kinda ;-D 

I have recently completely another totally cool scarf and started on another project which is close to completion and have a jersey dress I made a long time ago to show you.... N'YAY!!

So it was international womens day this week, I didn't really take part in any event but made me think a little bit on people, women in particular who have inspired me or stuck in my memory for some paticular reason. The first lady who comes into my head was a teacher in my Junior school, which is age 7-11ish if I remember correctly, d'oh! 

She was called Miss Dickerson I think and she was tall, red curly hair, freckles and had a warm round soft face. She was an art teacher mainly. I was relentlessly bullied at school through-out my years from 5-15 and was a horrific time for me and unfortunatley tainted my view on the human race on a whole, but more on that another time. She noticed I was being targeted and always came to my aide if she saw i was upset, which i also got bullied about, urgh. She saw my interest in art and encouraged it, I stayed behind after hours and I remember there was a spare room in the school in the scary part nobody went ( i remember the art strorage room was purrretty scary too, have memories of a blood-thirsty skeleton waiting to pounce, and just this 'eerie' feeling that wasn't alone). Well this room was to be transformed into a jungle. We made leaves from shiny foil paper, lions heads, parrots from crete paper and the part i really enjoyed doing was making snake out of old tights, stuffing them with scrunched up paper and sticking shiny scales on them. The memories are blurry, but i have blocked out a lot of my past memories, i think its some kind of coping/defense mechanism. But as faded as they are, it's great there are people like that out there. So wherever you are Miss Dickerson, thanks, I have been tapping into my creative side in a major way ever since, if it wasn't for that I probably would of gone mad!

Tuesday was pancake day, but I don't have too much to say about that, it's not so fun flipping and eating pancakes on your own so I ended up binning them in the end, I think a lot of the fun and excitment is family involvement and laughter, not just a circle (though mine were amoeba shaped...) of batter with lemon and sugar on...

i made a jersey dress from some material I had been harbouring a couple years back and I never got around to wearing it until just over a week ago, God knows why, its so comfortable and looks pretty neat!

 

Im 6 months preggers, this hides this pretty well huh!?

I'm not the hugest fan of KISS or Paul Stanley at all but wanted an iconic face to have on the front. It was made of two pieces of fabric pain-stakingly hand sewn together (i heart my sewing machine now!) and ribbons of sequins, again hand sewn, into a lurverly face. I want to make a couple more, as they are easy to make, even more so now because of my uber super sewing machina! Plus are comfy to the max, though next time i may make some more 'fitted' ones the nip in the waist a smidgen.

I just noticed the people practising ballet on my TV....cringe!! a'ha!!
Oh, also spotted my sleeping beauty on the chair to the right...SQUEEEE!!

I have completed..... MY FUCKING PEAR SNARF!!!

I love love LOVE this so much, its so cute and I cant wait to wear it out! Lotsa cold English weather so theres much oppurtunity too! It came out better than I imagined given my very amatuer crocheting skeels but this rocks your socks off!

Close up!

I just got out the bath, red faced a-heee!!

 

NOM NOM NOM!!!

  I'm quite proud I have found something I enjoy doing and have stuck at. Due to the way my brain-ski works I do tend to wander from interest to interest from time to time. I find it rewarding and when im doing it, feel a sense of calm, which to me is very rare as I am the most fidgety person, like, evar!!!

 What do you think of my scarf and jersey dress??

There's some other things i was going to include but this posting is preeeetty long already and I have a snoring person on me so I must depart soon XD But I wont leave it long, maybe tomorrow....YARRRR!!!

Before I go, a little website that i was going to share before....has decided to work again WOOT ^_^ so give it a go peoples!!!

Grow my seedling!! 

Also a youtoobly sharing for you! Cos im nice like that! >_<

Makes me laugh so much a lil bit of wee came out!!!

Well, please let me know what you think of my makings and have a nice weekend, and if you have anything you want to share let me know and I will put it on here, okays?!

Me x